My new defense mechanism that has, so far, seemed to work out pretty well for me = Be a Bitch.

That is the only way I can seem to prevent things from getting to me as easily as they usually do.

Bull.

I refuse to lose my starting position on Riverside's Varsity Softball team to a girl that has been there for a week and "earns" a spot in about an hour. No. I have worked way too hard the past two years to get where I currently am, starting in the infield, AS A SOPHOMORE, to be bumped to left bench the minute someone else shows up. I've played with her before. She's good, and maybe it's a blessing that she came - but her attitude SUCKS. She thinks she's all that and a bag of chips, and she definitely isn't. She causes SO much drama, and her Mama is possibly the most obnoxious woman I have ever known.

It's bullshit. Complete. Bullshit. End of story.

And I probably wouldn't have such an issue with this if
1. She hadn't been such a BITCH when I ATTEMPTED to be NICE to her, responding to my sweet little "Hey (name)" with a "Hi" and a bitchy little "Don't associate with me" face.
and
2. My FATHER actually kind of SYMPATHIZED with me and didn't imply that she'll probably deserve more playing time than I do because she's better. I don't need the "This is higher level softball, Lindsey," or "How hard you've worked in the past doesn't guarantee your spot this year," crap. I mean I'm not stupid. I understand that I have to earn my playing time and I plan on doing that. But having someone roll up and threaten one's starting spot after working one's ass off for almost three years in a matter of a day is hard to accept. Is that so ridiculous?

I'm not so sure I'm excited for this season anymore. And that really sucks.

If I could describe yesterday's events in one word it would have to be "wow."
Just wow.

New classes aren't terrible.
But I hate the work load.

Softball season has got me super nervous.

I'll probably get sick sometime during the next two weeks.

The scholarship application I should be filling out is a waste of my time.

I wish I could figure out and explain the way I feel and then actually believe what I say.

No quiero ir al trabajo manana.

I met a super cute guy today.
Gooooood God Almighty.
Him, on the otherhand, yo quiero.
Mucho. Mucho.

I don't sleep much anymore.